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James M. Maggard & Associates, P.C. Services


A man was sent to hell for his earthly transgressions.  As he was being led to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was in deep conversation with a beautiful young woman.

"Wait a minute," the man protested to his demon escort. 

"I have to roast for all eternity, and someone else gets that?"

The demon jabbed the man with his pitchfork and snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"


A lawyer, a used-car salesman, and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend.  In his grief, one of the three said, "In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they'll have something to spend over there."

They all agreed that this was appropriate.  The banker dropped a hundred-dollar bill into the casket, and the car salesman did the same.

The lawyer took out the two bills, put them in his pocket, and wrote a check for $300.00.


It is against the law in Oxford, Ohio, to wear patent-leather shoes.


"Sir," pleaded the witness, "you may or may not believe me, but I have told the truth.  I have been wedded to the truth since infancy."

"yes," replied the judge, "but how long have you been a widower?"


The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

                                                                                - Oscar Wilde

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